Singapore English vs Britian English ... Who says our English is Bad. Just see below -
Ours is simple,short,concise, straight-to-point, effective etc.
The English did invent the English Language, but they cannot use it economically when communicating their intentions.
Compare these phrases that singaporeans and Britons use to say the same thing: So, why make things so confusing and waste of money when you are and a long distance call.

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Singaporeans: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Singaporeans: Hallo, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY.
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Singaporeans: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Singaporeans:No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Singaporeans: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Singaporeans: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Singaporeans: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Singaporeans: Doe-waaaan!

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Singaporeans: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Singaporeans: Shaddap lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Singaporeans: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Singaporeans: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Singaporeans: Wat happen Why lidat?ADUI!!! (jumping to conclusion)

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you.
Singaporeans:Hoi!!!u pig ar lidat also doe no how to do!!!!

Are u like tat?haha..
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CLASS TIME

The class was very noisy just now because there wasn't any teacher,
but now everyone suddenly turned quiet. That is because the fiercest
teacher in the school had entered the class. Her face is as fierce
as a lion which will bite anyone's head off if offended... And if
you wanna know more.... follow the lesson.

Students: Good morning, teacher.

Teacher : (shouting) Why is it only good morning? What about afternoon and night?

Students: Good morning, afternoon and night teacher!

Teacher : That is unacceptable! It is too long. Just wish me best
regards for my whole day! That is much better as it is easier and
full of meaning. And that greeting can also be used for all times.

Students: Best regards teacher!

Teacher : That's better, sit down! Listen today I,m going to test
you all on words that have the opposite meaning. When I say a
sentence or word, all of you must answer quickly the opposite
meaning to the words, understand?

Students: Understood teacher!

Teacher : I do not want any disturbance!

Students: (shouting)

Teacher : Clever!

Students: Stupid!

Teacher : High!

Students: Low!

Teacher : Popular!

Students: Calafare!

Teacher : Wrong!

Students: Correct!

Teacher : Stupid!

Students: Clever!

Teacher : No!

Students: Yes!

Teacher : Oh God!

Students: Oh Slave!

Teacher : Listen to this!

Students: Listen to that!

Teacher : Quiet!

Students: Noisy!

Teacher : That's not a question, stupid!

Students: This is an answer, clever!

Teacher : I'm dead!

Students: We're alive!

Teacher : I'm lazy to teach!

Students: We are hardworking to learn!

Teacher : Enough! Enough!

Students: More! More!

Teacher : Stop! Stop!

Students: Start! Start!

Teacher : Why are you people so stupid?!

Students: Because I am someone clever!?

Teacher : Lack manners!

Students: Taught enough!

Teacher : O.K. Lesson has ended!

Students: K.O. Lesson has not started!

Teacher : Enough, stupid!

Students: Not yet, clever!

Teacher : Stand up!

Students: Sit down!

Teacher : I said CALAFARE was wrong!

Students: We said POPULAR was correct!

Teacher : You people are dumb!

Students: We aliens are gifted!

Teacher : All of you must stay back this afternoon!

Students: One of me must not go home that night!

Teacher : (Keep quiet, gather her books and went out)

Students : (Make noise, drop our pen and go in)


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