Jus a few days ago,i was wondering when was e last time i cried,
I came 2 realised dat it had been long...realli long.
I began 2 ask myself how does it feel like 2 shed a tear.
I asked how,but i dint asked for it.

I wear tis smile wherever i go,
Ppl tinks dat i dun haf problems.
But the fact tat i haf lots,little ppl noe.
And recently,i find it hard 2 smile as carefreely as i did

I hate being born into tis family.
It sux,
Especially my elder bro.
Jus ytd,we quarrelled.
He provoked me 2 and shouted 2 me,asking me 2 hack him.
I almost did it.
I cant control myself,i cannot surpress e anger n the hatred i have for him.
I wan him dead,tats wat i told wen jie ytd.
But thank God,i dint hack him,instead,i called the police.

The police came,questioned us wat happened.
I told dem wat happened.
But seems 2 me tat when they questioned my mom,
She tried all means 2 protect him.
I cant tolerate it.
She isnt helping him at all.
I cried,becos she loved him more den i do.
I am more successful den him.
But yet since young,she is always siding him.

Since young,i am always at fault.
My siblings bullied me,i shouted,and get beaten up by my parents instead.

I dread the feeling of going home.
Perhaps,no one loves me afterall.
People who noe me shld noe.
My parents dun call me when its late.
I dun like staying at home.
I would rather sleep on e floor on xs hse,den going home.
My parents gave me education is becos they wan me 2 provide for dem when they grow old.
I am nothing.
If i am as stupid as my 2 other siblings.
My parents would had forced me 2 work.

In e spite moment,i told my mom tat i dun wan 2 carry on my education.
I wan 2 work,provide for myself,and move out of e house.
It sux.completely.

I hate my bro,kk once asked me if i haf the Death Book,who would i kill 1st?
I Said,without considering..tats my bro.
If his dead,all my misery will end.
He causes me 2 be demean in e family.
I cant stand it.

They sae God is fair.
But i tink tat my God is good.
The devil gave me a bro.
But God gave me my cousins and my fren.
The devil took a bro away,but God gave me 10+ other ppl tat cared for me.
I thank God,and i thank them.
Thx wen jie,kun lots...i noe ur will be wif me in tough times.
Thx for trying 2 cheer me up ytd.
Thanks=)
And of cos,Kok kIan,kian hao,zhi liang,yehui,claudia,valerie,xuan hui,karista and jason ng
One of e reason tat gave me e strength 2 move on are definitely u guys.
And those ppl tat r willing 2 listen 2 my complaints tat nite at e coffeeshop.
Thx.
God is good.

i am leaving 2 wen jie's hse for quite some time.

Been thinking about tis for the past few days.

Wats the different between classmates and friends?

Classmates-
Jus companion,in class and schs.
After class and sch,they will jus pretend tat both nv exist.
Dun exchange smses,wont take intiative 2 tok 2 each other on msn,or rarely visits each other blogs.
No matter how "sticky" ur r in sch,ur are still classmates.
After graduation,ur will be off 2 find a new group of classmates,or companion.

Friends-
May not be close in sch,but after sch,will naturally exchange smses or chat on msn.
Its long lasting,cos they dun need "circumstances" 2 notice each other.
After graduation,they will still keep in contact.
In my opinion,closer friends r those dat u dun see everyday,yet u still keep in contact wif them.


I am cutting down on classmates and focusing on friends.
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We will nv noe how the 2nd party tinks about u unless u find out from the 3rd party.
Yet,no one dares 2 ask,becos they r unable 2 accept the fact.
Tat the 2nd party tinks badly about u.